Last night's youth lesson notes

Spiritual disciplines Romans 12:2 says, Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Shaun was your all American regular old teenaged boy. He loved to chase girls, play sports and have fun any chance he got. One day he was talking with a friend who invited him to church. He decided to go, and you know what it wasn’t half bad. So he went back and started to go pretty regularly. Then, he went to summer camp and accepted Christ. He was so pumped and so changed, and he went home and immediately changed the people he hung out with. He changed a lot of his habits and started living differently. Everyone was so proud of what he had become. Then, he started being given responsibilities at the church and became a leader. He would speak at on campus Bible study groups and led the discussion in his church youth group’s small group pretty regularly. Like anyone else, eventually the demands for his time started to interfere. He got a new truck, played sports and the demand for his time started to eat away at him. His truck payment was more than he could handle so he started working on youth group nights, and small group nights. Then soon he was working every other Sunday. Then he was so exhausted from his rigorous schedule between sports and his job that when he did get a Sunday off he slept in and used it as a day to catch up on all his schoolwork, sleep and other things. He slowly started to read his Bible less and less, then he was spending less and less time around his Christian friends. And eventually he got to a point where he didn’t know where to start to get back to church and back to where he once was. I know that as a pastor I am hard on people, but the only thing I want to leave you guys with is a REAL relationship with God. Not something you walk through the motions of or fake from time to time the REAL thing. If I was to die tomorrow, if you were to move away next week it is my job and my heart’s desire that you have a real relationship with God that can stand the test of time. Look around you, all of us have things that are vying for our time that shouldn’t be. All of us are involved in things that are taking us away from God(if only for a day) and those things are IDOLS. It may be work, it may be a sport, it may be your hobby, it may be sleep, or even school. Whatever it is, it is robbing you of your relationship with God and that for me as a pastor is a tragedy. Romans 12:2 Pattern of this world – this world is in a pattern, the world teaches completely contrary to the word of God. You have to change your allegiance and your daily routines in order to change your life. What is the key?- renewing your mind! Every day, starting the day off or closing the day out by renewing your mind. Giving God the chance to breathe something new into your thoughts, your attitudes and your mindset. Quote: "Be careful what you think it will soon become your actions, be careful with your actions they will soon become your habits, be careful with your habits they will soon become your character, be careful with your character because to most people that is who you are." Every year at new years millions of people celebrate a new start. They celebrate the chance to start all over, but let’s be honest new years is no different from any other day. You make resolutions, set goals and a few weeks later you forget them.Why is that? Because they are just the same things you wanted to do in December of the year prior and they usually involve no change in your heart or your mind. Now when I was a kid, I loved Go Bots and Transformers. I had thousands of hot wheels and matchbox cars but when these things came out I had to have them. The thought that a car, or truck or motorcycle could transform from that to a robot was just amazing to me, so I asked for them from santa and on every occasion I could. What is a transformer? It is a vehicle that transforms from it’s normal state into a robotic machine. Transforming is what we miss, we do just enough to let God influence us, and maybe even change us a little bit. But rarely do we truly give God enough consistency to let him Transform us. What does renewing your mind really mean?- putting new fresh thoughts in it every day, and allowing God to speak to you through your prayer life and through His word daily. Think of one area in your life where you tend to continue to sin. What excuses do you make to rationalize that wrong behavior? What is the lie behind that justification? Think of one area in your life where you tend to over react. Why do you over react and what lie is it that helps you rationalize and justify your over reactions? Think about your most dangerous temptations, those sins in your life that you just can’t quite seem to resist. What lie is behind them, how do you justify those actions? The answer to all of this is simple, spending time alone with God on a daily basis by reading your Bible, praying, and attending church on Sundays and weekdays are all a part of spiritual disciplines. We are all old enough here now that we have our own disciplines. We shower, we brush our teeth, we eat, we sleep, all of those are things that at one point or another we resisted. I remember as a young boy turning the shower on, holding my hand under the water and then wetting the wash cloth, taking my towel and ringing the wash cloth out into it so that everything was wet and it appeared I took a shower. Think about the rationality behind that, that is a lot of work to do, in reality it was more trouble than actually taking the shower was. We rationalize things in our minds in some of the most ridiculous ways don’t we. How about P.J., when we were potty training her it was a headache for sure. She would go into her bedroom, take her clothes off, put on a pull up, take the pullup off, attempt to clean herself with wipes and then hide the pullup. All this to avoid having to go to the bathroom in the toilet. How much sense does that make? That is what we look like to God, when He knows if we will just slow down, spend some time reading and praying each day, and go to church it would be far easier to live the Christian life. I promise you, those of you who play a sport you miss more church than you do practices, don’t you and you justify missing church, and there is no way to justify missing practices. Your actions are shaped by your beliefs and your attitude. If you have the right attitude about your relationship with God, about your Bible reading, and praying and church attendance then guess what, you will not fall and stumble nearly as often. And all of that is driven by the relationship. Quote: "Be careful what you think it will soon become your actions, be careful with your actions they will soon become your habits, be careful with your habits they will soon become your character, be careful with your character because to most people that is who you are."

The weekend in review

I feel like most of you at some point realize that I had an awesome weekend. Tara and I really needed it after the rough week that we had last week. We lost Tara's 98 year old granny on Monday, did the viewing Tuesday, funeral on Wednesday and we had planned on getting away on Saturday in Georgia for some racing but weren't sure any of that would happen if we couldn't get enough help. It seemed almost as if everyone who had volunteered to help out with things Saturday so that we could get away backed out. But, eventually new help stepped up to the plate and blessed us with a day get away. I will start with Friday night, we were blessed with donated food for our football team meal at Pedro from Sonny's BBQ, so we ate good and it was all good from that point on. I was able to share a message from God's word, then able to travel with Alexa to Ponte Vedra High School where our Falcons destroyed the SHarks picking up a well deserved win for a coaching staff and group of young football players who have worked hard from day 1 last summer. Saturday, we got up and dad and I took off for South Georgia Motorsports Complex in Cecil, Georgia. We left around 6:00am arriving a little before 9:00 and it was freezing(or by our standards it was) cold. We unloaded the car and immediately they had trouble with their tree and timing system but they got it fixed in a timely manner and we were off and running. I was entered in 7.50 index, Open Comp and Pro and had every intention of winning one of NHRA's prestigious Wally Trophies in either 7.50 or Open Comp. As luck would have it one of the toughest top bulb racers in the South Eastern Us was there, Stephen McCrory, and that was my opponent first round of 7.50. I had the tree just a bit but he ended up having better brakes than me as we ran a double break out in his favor. I missed the set up a little bit in Open Comp as I usually try to hold .03, so I killed about .08 in my one time trial and that left me dialed in pretty decent. Problem was by second round of Open Comp it was a lot warmer and my holding 3 was dwindled to dialed honest. I got close to the stripe and felt like he was getting there so I dumped and turned on his win light as I was for the first time in forever unable to get there. I had bought back into 7.50 and made it all the way to the semi finals before a freak occurence took me out of that class. The car darted hard to the right, I mean hard right almost as if one slick was on ice and the other was on sticky surface. As the car darted I learned a valuable lesson, do not launch a car that lifts the nose high with your hand on the shifter in my haste to get both hands on the wheel I bumped the car pre maturely in second gear and I was never able to catch up. I was however .006 on the tree to my opponents' .000 which took some of the sting out of the loss. Now to Pro, in all honesty this is my weakest class. I have struggled in Pro all season, for three seasons to be honest. But for whatever reason first round of Pro I decided to try something, I started blocking out the top two bulbs and treating it like a pro tree, and sure enough it worked. I worked really well as I won round after round, driving the finish line like I usually do, but driving the starting line like I had not been able to in years. I rattled off great reaction times and my only bad one was a .035 against a red light so it was my night. I dwindled the field down to the finals where I picked up the win, and my third wally. It was an exciting night to say the least and the best part was the girls were there with us to enjoy it as well as some close friends of ours the Rhodens. Sunday, we got up and went through setting up worship, and we had a pretty good crowd. Honestly, one of the better crowds we have had in a while. I will confess to you the hardest part about reaching the unchurched is the inconsistency in attendance. But, today knowing that a concert, and softball, lacrosse, and a family trip had knocked about a good portion of regular attenders it was a great crowd. WOrship went well, Phillip and Tori always make it better, and T.J. is awesome every week the three of them together is perfect(to me anyway). But after the service we were approached and Tara, the girls and I recieved our first ever pastor appreciation gift. In the 5 years we have served here I have never even really thought much about it, but it is a huge blessing to recieve a gift from the group of people that we pour our hearts and souls into on a daily basis. We are so blessed with a great church family, I know I get frustrated and it shows. It is very frustrating the things that come before worship, I get frustrated when people share about other churches that they attend during the week and some of my sermon on the grass is always greener was aimed at that. You wouldn't know the grass was greener if you worked at making your own lawn, your own church and your own life better. But I am blessed, we are blessed and oh so thankful for all the people that God has placed in our lives at Freedom and in St. Johns County. We love you guys and hope to serve here for a long, long time.

The church's job is love

We have all heard the saying, the grass is always greener on the other side. Well, I want you to realize today that if you didn't pay any attention to the grass in other places you would be happy and content with your grass, and you would water it and nurture it more. One of my first jobs I worked with a bunch of men who seemed to get along great. I would see them pranking each other, play jokes on one another and just all around getting along well. Then one day one of the guys found out some stuff that he shouldn't have. He found out what several of his co workers made, and this caused a huge rift. Several of them made more than he did, and he didn't think that was right, so then he shared that info with some of the others. Next thing you know, they were all a lot less happy at work, and there was friction where there shoudl be none. They let themselves get wrapped up in what others had instead of what they had. In all honesty, we need to love, nurture and tend to our own "lawns" because that is where God put us and where He wants to use us. John 15:12-17 my command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. This is my command: Love each other. Remember last week I said on the human, personal side that: Love isn’t just this big fuzzy feeling, emotions and hugs and kisses. Its sacrifice and selflessness. Some ways that we can show sacrificial love is through: - Listening - Helping - Encouraging - Giving Think about this, all of us know at least one person (most of us know many) who need someone to meet these needs in some way. I have learned through life, my days working with the homeless, to my days as a youth pastor and now pastor, to my jail ministry and everywhere in between. There is no one on the face of this earth who doesn’t want their feelings validated. Not one. They need someone to listen. They need someone to help them. They need someone to encourage them. They need someone to give towards their needs. Now if the church isn’t doing these things, then who is? Jeremiah 29:4-7 This is what the Lord Almighty, the God of Israel, says to all those I carried into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon: “Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce. Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease. Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper.” Jeremiah writing to the Israelites good perspective and greater instructions. Wherever you are God put you there, they were carried into exile by God, not the bad guys, not the Babylonians but by God. You are in St Augustine, Florida not because of your marriage, your family, your job or schooling. Not because you were born here, but because God wants you to embrace where you are and be ever present where you are for His glory. Stop thinking the grass is greener somewhere else; start watering the lawn where God placed you. Seek the peace and the prosperity of the peace of where I sent you. The Israelites were in the most immoral place they could be in, and God is asking them to pray for the peace and prosperity of them. God wants you to pray for the peace and the prosperity of your city, St Augustine Florida. That is what love really is, loving where you are because God put you there. You are not anywhere by accident. Pray for your city. Love your city. Churches fail this all the time and here are some ways: Churches like to condemn cities; churches become better known for what they hate and are against than what they love and what they are for. Darkness is the Isolation - churches just hunker down in their buildings, waiting for the world to either end or get better. Looks at the needs of its members and tells the world that anyone that isn't there is going to hell and hopeless. Imitation - we can't change the world if we are of it. We need to be in the world not of it. We should serve differently, interact differently, and love differently. Transformation - seeking the peace and the prosperity of the city. Jesus' only command in the book of John is to love, to love as He loved. I admit, when I get done with my reading, and praying and studying in the mornings I log onto the internet and it starts with my MSN feed. That is my home page, and I can tell you if there is an article about a church, or about Christians 9 times out of 10 it is more about what the church is against than what it is for. How sad, do we set up our homes like that? Do we want our kids to grow up thinking home is a place where they aren’t allowed to do certain things, like run inside, eat junk food, stay up all night, play loud music, throw their dirty clothes on the floor and so on. Or do we want our homes to be the place where our children feel loved, cared for, nurtured, and have their physical and emotional needs met. So we need to decide are we going to be a church that condemns people, isolates itself from people, and imitates the world or a place where God’s love flows through to transform the hearts of this town. I work by day for a non-profit, I meet with non-profits all the time in different settings and the resounding thing I hear all the time is that the church doesn't do enough. In reality they are right; the church should be the greatest non-profit industry in the world. Freedom should not be a better place because of St. Augustine; the city of St. Augustine should be a better place because Freedom Church is here.

What is love, the human side of it

The following is my sermon notes from yesterday, OCtober 20th. This is the first look at John 15:12-17 as we look at the human side of love as defined by God's word. We look at the definition, the characteristics of it and then we look at the example that Jesus gave us of a true, sacrificial and selfless love. SENDING THE VERY BEST Someone has composed the following list of "Cards You'll Never See at Hallmark": "Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder.... What was I thinking?!" "I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love.... After having met you, I've changed my mind." "As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am.... that you're not here to ruin it for me." "As you grow older, Mom, I think of all the gifts you've given me..... Like the need for therapy." "You look great for your age.... Almost life-like!" "When we were together, you always said you'd die for me.... Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise." "We have been friends for a very long time.... What do you say we call it quits?" "I'm so miserable without you.... It's almost like you're here." "You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket.... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often." Somehow those cards truly don't seem very appropriate for a card company that advertises with the slogan, "When you care enough to send the very best." Greeting card companies certainly have made it easy for us to let our friends and relatives know that we care about them. John 15:12-17 v. 12-13 We are to love each other just as Jesus loved us, and he loved us enough to give up His life for us. We may never have to die for someone, we may never have to make that ultimate sacrifice, but there should be people in our lives who know without a doubt that we would if it came down to it. Love isn’t just this big fuzzy feeling, emotions and hugs and kisses. It’s sacrifice and selflessness. Some ways that we can show sacrificial love is through: - Listening - Helping - Encouraging - Giving Think about this, all of us know at least one person(most of us know many) who need someone to meet these needs in some way. I have learned through life, my days working with the homeless, to my days as a youth pastor and now pastor, to my jail ministry and everywhere in between. There is no one on the face of this earth who doesn’t want their feelings validated. No one. They need someone to listen. They need someone to help them. They need someone to encourage them. They need someone to give towards their needs. Evaluate all of your life’s settings, are you meeting the needs of the people that God placed in your life? How about at home and at work are you: - actively listening to what is going on, or are you just there trying to drown it out by being busy, or unavailable. Or maybe you are listening simply to wait for your opportunity to give imput. - helping out in any way you can, chores, income, errands? - encouraging? Let’s admit it there are always those people who we can count on for a real pick me up, and there are those who we avoid because we know they will drain us. - giving, of your time, resources, are you treating everything you have like it’s yours or are you actively sharing it because you realize it all belongs to God? Greater love has no one that to lay down their life for his friends. Like I said you may never have to make that sacrifice, but are you willing to put your life on hold for your loved ones, friends and fellow Christians? Now to verse 15 This is one of my favorite attributes of Jesus, the fact that he was so humble. Philipians 2:5-11 says Now these verses are thought to have been a hymn from the early Christian church because they so closely parallel verses from Isaiah 53. Regardless, if we are Christians we are to love and we are to imitate Christ, and we can’t imitate his actions without first imitating his attitude. This passage points us to 7 key characteristics that I want to touch on just briefly. 1. Jesus has always existed. 2. Jesus is equal to God because He is God. 3. Jesus became a man, gave up His seat in Heaven to become mortal. 4. Jesus did not just take on the appearance of man, he became man. 5. Jesus loved His father and us so much that He gave up His divine rights. 6. He died on the cross for our sins, so that we could have eternal life, so that we could be forgiven of our sins, and so that we could have a personal relationship with God. 7. He knowingly died, and rose again to go right back to His seat at His Father’s right hand. Now looking at those facts, looking at those verses, how do you define love? Is your definition of love anything close to God’s definition, or to Jesus’ example? What is Love? When someone says, "I don't love you anymore," it shakes you to your very core. It caused me to ponder the true meaning of love as never before. After many years, I arrived at the only definition that makes any sense. Since God is love and we must compare our love to him, we come up short if we define it any other way. For you see, in the final analysis, "Love is a commitment with a beginning and no end." Christ chose to love us and he has never stopped. He never will. We should be very careful with a word like love. Are we willing to make that kind of commitment? Thanks for reading and have a great day!

Authentic Faith, clinging to it with all you have

These are my notes from last night's youth message. Authentic means real, and something real doesn’t change or wash away. P.J. absolutely loves tattoos, she gets one everytime we go to certain restaraunts to eat. They are a dollar or sometimes .50 and they last a few days. We always make her put it somewhere that it won't show just because we don't know how long it will take to wash off. Well, tattoos unfortunately are a big deal these days, I personally don't believe in defiling my body therefore I don't necessarily like them. The idea of doing something to my body that God did not intend and having it last forever just isn't my idea of fun, or smart. Well, a real tattoo lasts forever, it stretches, fades and changes with your body but it is always there. Now, a fake tattoo is gone in a week or so, it washes off as soon as some soap and water hit it. It fades, and then a faded half washed off tattoo is absolutely hideous. That cool design that P.J. picked out is now just a black or blue mangled dot of dirt appearing skin. Our faith is meant to last forever, it is meant to be real and strong and endure the test of time. Unfortunately many of us don't have that strong of faith, we don't take the time to cultivate it and so we end up with a faded, unattractive and basically useless faith. That isn't the way GOd intends it to be. Let's look at some verses. Hebrews 4:14-16 14 Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven,Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess.15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin.16 Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. 2 Samuel 23:9-10 8 These are the names of David’s mighty warriors: Josheb-Basshebeth,a Tahkemonite,was chief of the Three; he raised his spear against eight hundred men, whom he killed in one encounter.9 Next to him was Eleazar son of Dodai the Ahohite. As one of the three mighty warriors, he was with David when they taunted the Philistines gathered at Pas Dammim[d] for battle. Then the Israelites retreated,10 but Eleazar stood his ground and struck down the Philistines till his hand grew tired and froze to the sword. The Lord brought about a great victory that day. The troops returned to Eleazar, but only to strip the dead. Eleazor is for whatever reason one of my favorite BIble characters the story of him slaying an army and fighting until his hand was basically frozen to the sword is a perfect picture of what our faith should be like. Josheb, Shammah, and this great character ELEAZAR were Davids' mighty men, men who had together slain thousands with their own swords and their own hands. He is particularly remembered for his heroic deeds in a battle with the Philistines. In 1 Chronicles 11:12-14 we are told a little more about this occasion. The battle scene was at a place called “Pasadammim” - “the dell of bloodshed”. It is, interestingly, the same place where David (years before) had defeated Goliath. This place seems to have been a recurring headache for Israel - Saul had been held up there by the Philistines until David stepped in, and now David is returned there facing the same enemy (the Philistines) in another confrontation. There’s something to be learned here - the enemy will often take us back to old battlegrounds; places where he’s held us up in the past! [As I look back on my Christian walk, my greatest battles have been fought over the same things time and time again - things that I’d already dealt with.] Here at Pasadammim again then, the Philistines stood in the way of GOd's army and GOd's people. What a man this Eleazar was! We can learn a lot from him; 1. THE SUFFICIENCY OF ELEAZAR’S WEAPON. He arose and smote the Philistines until his hand was weary, and his hand clave unto the sword: and the Lord wrought a great victory that day; and the people returned after him only to spoil. (verse 10) Eleazar brought down the entire Philistine militia with just one weapon in his hand - his trusty sword. It was: a.) A WEAPON HE HAD CONFIDENCE IN. He had, no doubt, fought many battles with it before. It had been a reliable sword to him - he cared for it himself, sharpening and oiling it continually, so that he knew it would not fail him in the heat of battle. I understand that one of the first things an Australian soldier is issued with when he enlists is his automatic rifle. Each soldier is taught to know everything about his weapon - before long he can dismantle and reassemble it blindfolded in seconds. He is the only one allowed to clean his rifle, and if he misplaces it he is severely disciplined. The point of all this training is so that when he goes into battle the soldier is not concerned about whether or not his weapon will fail him - he trusts it because he knows it completely and has proven it in many repeated drills. Eleazar wielded his sword with confidence - it had proven reliable to him time and time again. It was also: b.) A WEAPON HE WAS FAMILIAR WITH. Eleazar, by constant use, had mastered that sword. Before he ever came near the battlefield he had defeated a thousand imaginary enemies - he had practised with it for hours on end. He was familiar with its feel and its weight; he knew what it could cut through, and how much force he needed to swing it with. He knew how to use it both defensively and offensively - he was totally at home using this sword. He was so familiar with it, in fact, that it became just like an extension of his own arm. Secondly, we see: 2. THE STUBBORNNESS OF ELEAZAR’S GRIP. . . . his hand CLAVE unto the sword. OH, I LIKE THAT! Eleazar’s hand clave unto the sword, despite the fact that: a.) THE SITUATION “SEEMED” HELPLESS. . . . the men of Israel were gone away - YOU run away as well, Eleazar, what’s the point?! You can’t face this whole horde of Philistines alone - “He who turns and runs away lives to fight another day!” - Isn’t that right? NO - . . . his hand clave unto the sword. Despite the fact that: b.) ALL HUMAN RESOURCES WERE GONE. All his human counterparts, his fellow soldiers completely bailed on him and all that was left was him and his sword. There are going to be times in your life when all you have is your faith, and when those times come you better have full confidence in your faith and full assurance that it is all that you need. You better cling to it with all you have and stand your ground, no one else will be able to do it for you! And notice too, that his "help" only showed up after the battle was over to loot and strip the dead of anything of value. You are going to face times like these too, where people watch you stand firm in your faith and then they come back to get credit alongside of you, this too is a test of faith. NO - . . . his hand clave unto the sword. NOTE THIS WORD “CLAVE”: The Hebrew word implies two meanings, both of which are significant I believe. a.) “PURSUING”, “clinging onto”, “grasping”. If wetake this meaning, Eleazar “went after” the sword - he clung to it for dear life. A sword with a life of its own. How many have ever been in situations where there’s been nothing left to do but CLING to God’s Word - to pursue it and, when you have found His promise, to hold on to it for dear life! b.) "WELDING”, “soldering”. The sword was “welded” to Eleazar’s hand! What a great picture that is. In the heat of the battle, Eleazar and his sword BECAME ONE INSTRUMENT! My new race car that I purchased a few years back has a complete funny car cage in it. THere are bars located all the way around me so that if I ever got into an accident there is no way that my body could come in contact with anything. I am in a huge bubble of steel bars, those bars are welded together strongly. Weld is a process of heating up metal to hold two metals together so that it is impossible for them to come apart. Oh, that we might all be welded to the Word of God and our faith. Eleazar clave unto the sword. We see the stubbornness of Eleazar’s grip. Thirdly, and finally, we see: 3. THE SECURER OF ELEAZAR’S VICTORY. "... and the Lord wrought a great victory that day." You cannot fight life's battles alone, days will come when you are at your end. You have no strength left, no energy left and seemingly very little hope left. It is in those times that your faith will be most valuable to you. Not when life is great and you are soaring high, not when life is ho hum not bad and not good, but when you are at the end of your human resources. Those times when you are on your own, that is my fear and also my hope for our youth ministries. That we build young people whose faith is so strong, and who cling to it song strongly and stubbornly that they stand up against thousands knowing that their faith will not let them down.

a little overview

I am finally finding myself with enough time to blog once again, like I did almost 10 years ago. Interestingly enough I looked at my last few blogs which were dated june 2010 and I can remember typing them and a lot of the circumstances I was dealing with at the time. I am going to use this blog a little differenty for now. I am going to do my best to keep to somewhat of a schedule as we move forward. On mondays I am going to basically post the sermon from the day before that I shared at Freedom Church in St Augustine. On Tuesdays I am going to give a bit of an overlook into what my last weekend was like and a little window into my feelings and emotions moving forward. Wednesdays will be about the week and a little kickstarter to the second half of the week getting us over the "hump", Thursdays I will post my message from youth at Freedom the night before.Fridays will be just a fun day of sharing something great that happened in my ministry over the past week. Now that I have posted these plans I have actively opened myself up to all types of problems. Internet, computer, sermon prep they will all in some way affect what I have posted here because as we all know according to Proverbs 16:9 Man can make their plans, but the it is the Lord that determines their steps. So if it isn't here, know that it was out of my abilities and powers to make it happen. For instance today, I am typing much later than usual as I had internet issues at my office. Another reason for this blog is for me to be able to unblock some people and avoid some of the hurts that are inflicted on Facebook. As a Pastor I am called to be the shepherd of God's people at Freedom and almost daily I was bombarded with people posting things that were anything but Christian on their walls, tweets, instagrams and so on. I even went so far as to block some of them who were considered leaders in days past so that I wouldn't be frustrated by their actions every day. I am going to continue to have all of the social media sites, I will use them, I will check them each day but I will not scroll through them regularly. It just isn't in my best interest to see pictures of people tagged in places they shouldn't be, posting links to things with language that is not CHrist like, and having people I pray for on a regular basis, visit in the hospital, do my best to take care of any need that I can, asking people about other church's service times and ministries. All of those things are hurtful and I cannot help but take them personal so I am better off taking a breather from Facebook. I have prayed hard about these matters, and I feel this is best for me. I realized that my depression is mostly attributed to the pain I feel of seeing others making mistakes in their lives, I am not judging them I am hurting because I cannot stop them and they don't wish to be stopped. No matter how many times I ask how they are doing or how often I pray for them and with them, they tell me they don't go to church because people are judging them. And the reallity is they are judging themselves. So all that having been said, I love my ministry, I love my family, I love my life and I most importantly love my God. I will post updates on Facebook, twitter and instagram of things happening in my life but if you want me to see something you have going on you will have to send it to me, tag me in it or reply to one of my threads. The last year at Freedom we have been blessed with some of the most amazing families and I want to take a minute to thank them. We have our childrens' ministry headed in the direction it should be, we have people who are cleaning the church and allowing Tara and I more family time on a weekly basis, we have people who are taking care of the lawn again blessing me with more family time and more time ministering to our community. Without these people, the prayers of our church members and the sacrificial servants hearts of these nameless servants of God Freedom would not be the place it is, thank you to all of you and GOd Bless!

So I wanted to share a little peak into my life. I work hard at staying completely vulnerable and transparent with all who care to see into my life, so here goes. This past weekend I went on a racing trip, it was the only racing trip that my dad and I take each year because it is pretty much all we can afford in today’s economy. We look forward to this race each year and in years past I have lost first round, lost second round, made it to the finals and lost because of my boneheaded decisions, and each year left unhappy with my racing but glad that we went and that I had that time with my dad and close racing friends. Well, this past weekend this race was a disaster and no one we talked to was very happy, our hard earned race-cation as we call it was a huge disappointment(please racers don’t start posting, I have read all of them and contributed far more than I should have), racing is a hobby but it is also the only get away I have. I work two pretty much full time jobs and a part time job and any side job I can get my hands on without being away from my family too much. My cellphone goes off from before sun up until after midnight many, many days(and I am not in any way complaining, I love it that way). But we all need to get away. Last night before I drifted off to sleep I asked God to help me get past the depression I am dealing with, and the feelings that got dug up during this past weekend(I am a pastor, a man of God, and also a human being and the more I study the more I realize it is normal for me to feel this way as a pastor) and so I fell asleep, it was a great sleep one of the best sleeps I have had in a long time and I had a dream, and it was the first dream I have had in a very long time. We raced and it went pretty well, I won a few rounds, spent quality time with close friends, fellow racers and most importantly my father. We drove home thru the night to make it to church the next morning, I got things ready, the worship team was pumped up and ready and it felt good. For some reason this particular week (it’s a dream they never make sense anyway) we did small groups before church not after, and everyone was in our small group but that is normal at times. People who hadn’t been there in a while and making excuses showed back up and it was great. We had a good discussion, it didn’t take the normal the path of discussing where people went to church during the middle of the week, or how great other worship services or preachers are, it was just a good session, and it was time to get ready for worship. I always sneak away for a few minutes each Sunday to get focused on why I am there, so that instead of looking at the empty pews where regulars should be I am able to focus on the fact that I spent hours the past week preparing a message to share and that it isn’t about me but about God. I realized during that prayer time I had missed 11:00 completely and it was time for me to get things started, I walked thru the front door and to my amazement everyone was there, I mean no sports, no trips, no work, no sickness, no one that should be there was missing from the congregation. I couldn’t contain myself I was so excited that for once, just one Sunday everyone was there. But, I noticed a commotion in the back of the church and Tara looked concerned so I walked back there to find that people were leaving, visitors had come that said they would come for quite some while and they were leaving because there wasn’t a seat. And people were angry because they walked in their usual few minutes late and had to stand. Still trying to process it all, still trying to piece it together but this dream helped me realize I have things a little out of whack, as many of us do. I don’t know how or why but I have put so much of my energy and my time and my heart into this ministry that it is making other areas suffer. I am so thankful to Tara for putting up with me, and the girls. They are a part of every piece of the ministry and I do believe if nothing else I do a great job of not neglecting my family. But they do see the heart ache and the pain, and unfortunately it affects them too. I also realized that the very thing I am praying about, praying for and focusing the majority of my energy in can still disappoint me. Thank you God, for kicking my butt in my dreams and opening my eyes to a new day!